2012-05-03 / Sports

Ranting and raving

Fat Guy’s Corner
Jeff Day — Sports Columnist

Let the Fat Guy vent for a few sentences here, and then I will be fine.

The Detroit Tigers need to start playing some H-E-double-hockeystick baseball. This garbage of terrible starting pitching by Porcello, Wilk and Scherzer is absolute garbage. They have been getting lit up like the town drunk on Friday night. Pass out the neck braces, as balls whistle on by the pitchers as fast as the ball goes to home plate. Papa Grande is proving how much last season was a fluke. He can’t get anyone out one, two, three. He darned near blew a five-run lead in New York last Saturday afternoon. The bats are like a silent movie; not a sound of crackling from the Louisville Sluggers.

Finally, Brandon Inge was released two years too late. Good luck in Oakland, Mr. Inge. Hope they like the .059 batting average. How about Rayburn at the plate? He is Jimmy Leyland’s manager’s pet, I guess? He needs to be traded for a dozen dirty baseballs and a torn batting glove. Justin Verlander can’t be the lone horse all summer long! Doug Fister needs to get back in the rotation, and soon! The Tigers can thank their lucky Ole English D’s that they are in a weak division. I know it’s early, but a .500 record and being swept by the Seattle Mariners at home is dog doo doo. Hey, Tigers, PLAY SOME BASEBALL!! P.S., Delmon Young, learn some manners and get some counseling, please!

Name recognition

The NFL draft is over and the Oklahoma Lions...oops, I mean Detroit Lions, had an average draft. Three players were drafted from Oklahoma, starting with receiver Ryan Broyles in the second round. I don’t understand that selection at all, to be totally honest. Travis Lewis and Ronnell Lewis are both outside linebackers, and another linebacker, Tahir Whitehead from Temple. Dwight Bentley is a corner and Jonte Green is a corner. The number-one selection is offensive tackle Riley Reiff from Iowa. That’s a solid pick, as Jeff Backus is getting a little long in the tooth and suffered that biceps injury late last season. The Lions are now at the point of drafting for substance and not for flash. It’s a nice position to be in, for a change. We now have to wait until training camp to see what the draft brought Detroit in order of help for the upcoming season.

Michigan had three players drafted, as Mike Martin went to Tennessee, Dave Molk to San Diego, and Junior Hemmingway to Kansas City. The Spartys sent Jerel Worthy to the rival Packers and Kirk Cousins to the Washington Redskins. Kirk will make that

Redskins football team. He is a solid sleeper pick, in my opinion. What is it with everyone hugging the Commish? I thought it was ridiculous. I am ready for some football by the way!

Snoozing

The NBA playoffs are under way, if you really care. The first round is about as exciting as having your wisdom teeth pulled. No upsets, and no drama, really. The Bulls are in trouble, now that Rose is out of the playoffs with a torn ACL. Man, talk about a season up in smoke on one freaking injury. Let’s get to the NBA Conference Finals and the Fat Guy will be interested. The NHL playoffs, on the other hand, have been awesome. The amount of overtime games has been Drama Central. NHL playoff hockey rules! Upsets and eight seeds have a chance to advance. That is what makes it so sweet.

Pinning roses

The running of the 138th Kentucky Derby is Saturday. Who will win in this 20- horse field? Who the heck knows! If they do know, please e-mail the Fat Guy; I could use the money. The chalk will be Union Rags at 9-2, or so. He is the best horse in the field, I think. He is training very well at Churchill Downs. Gemologist is a 7-1 choice and undefeated, trained by Todd Pletcher. Bodemeister, coming off an Arkansas Derby win, is currently at 9-2. He looked good in that race. How about the Mike Maker horse, Hansen? Mike is a Michigan man from Madison Heights. A trainer with Michigan roots, Hansen has made $1,550,000, the most of any horse in the race. He is at 14-1 currently. I like Daddy Long Legs as a long shot selection. I am riding Union Rags and he will win the roses into the Winner’s Circle.

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